Do you have a relative who, because of age or illness, shouldn’t drive anymore? Being cut off from driving can be hard. Especially in America, where the car is key to mobility and independence, the thought of giving up a license can be scary.

However, before you entertain any fears, you should first realize that the choice to keep driving may not be so black and white. Depending on a person’s level of ability, or deterioration of ability, there may be some options:

• Self-imposed limits: Many people know their skills are impaired, and will set limits for themselves, within which they can and do continue to drive safely. They may not drive at night or in the rain. They may decide that the high-speed hustle of the freeway is not for them and will choose alternate routes.
• Graded license: If the impairment is beyond self-imposed limits, there may be an official answer. Many states now offer “Graded Licenses” that give the person the right to drive within specific limits.

However, it may be that your relative needs to stop driving altogether. Most elderly or infirm people are aware of their deteriorating skills, and will take steps on their own. Others will need help convincing. How you handle that is important. At http://seniordriving.aaa.com, the American Automobile Association, or AAA, offers tips for communicating about this sensitive topic, cautioning loved ones that It is important to hear and understand the older driver’s concerns and not create resentment.  

However the person comes to realize that he should no longer drive, the transition will be a tough one. The person will need your emotional support and your logistical help.

Emotionally, the key is to shed light and hope on what will appear to be a dark, unfamiliar future. When a person can no longer drive, he will likely face feelings of emptiness and fear as he imagines the end of his social life, independence, and mobility. He will be very frustrated, and may lose self-respect.

What can you do? Help the person realize that the loss of driving does not mean the loss of freedom. Make sure he knows that he is not doomed to be penned up or cut off from the world. Get counseling for your loved one to help make the transition easier. Many state departments of motor vehicles (DMVs) offer counselors to help in these situations.

Next, your help with logistics will be very important. Thoroughly research and help your loved one understand his transportation options. If you come prepared with options for him to look forward to, his feeling of helplessness may be reduced. The transportation options include:

• Public transportation
• Friends and family
• Special bus, van, or taxi programs for the elderly and infirm

None of these alone will fill all the gaps left by not being able to drive, but together they can give the person good access to transportation. One important note: Make sure the schedules and other information you give the person are accurate, and perhaps ride along with him the first time to help iron out the kinks. Early problems in this new life—a missed bus, a late taxi—will easily frustrate the person and may make him give up other attempts to get out.

Losing the ability to drive can be scary and frustrating. It will mean a change in life patterns, but with your help, and some good information, it doesn’t have to mean the loss of a good life.

For more information

Here are some resources to help you and your relative determine if it’s time to stop driving, how to cope with the change, and what the alternative transportation options are.

• AAA Senior Driving
  http://midatlantic.aaa.com/Foundation/RoadsPrograms/SeniorDriving  
• American Association of Retired Persons. Publishes many materials on elderly drivers, including a self-assessment package. www.aarp.org
• Local senior centers. Your local senior center will know about options such as specialized van/bus services or discounts on taxis for elderly and infirm.
• Local department of motor vehicles. In many states, DMV personnel can issue graded licenses, and offer counseling to drivers who face restrictions or the loss of a license. 

Do you have a relative who, because of age or illness, shouldn’t drive anymore? Being cut off from driving can be hard. Especially in America, where the car is key to mobility and independence, the thought of giving up a license can be scary.

However, before you entertain any fears, you should first realize that the choice to keep driving may not be so black and white. Depending on a person’s level of ability, or deterioration of ability, there may be some options:

• Self-imposed limits: Many people know their skills are impaired, and will set limits for themselves, within which they can and do continue to drive safely. They may not drive at night or in the rain. They may decide that the high-speed hustle of the freeway is not for them and will choose alternate routes.
• Graded license: If the impairment is beyond self-imposed limits, there may be an official answer. Many states now offer “Graded Licenses” that give the person the right to drive within specific limits.

However, it may be that your relative needs to stop driving altogether. Most elderly or infirm people are aware of their deteriorating skills, and will take steps on their own. Others will need help convincing. How you handle that is important. At http://seniordriving.aaa.com, the American Automobile Association, or AAA, offers tips for communicating about this sensitive topic, cautioning loved ones that It is important to hear and understand the older driver’s concerns and not create resentment.  

However the person comes to realize that he should no longer drive, the transition will be a tough one. The person will need your emotional support and your logistical help.

Emotionally, the key is to shed light and hope on what will appear to be a dark, unfamiliar future. When a person can no longer drive, he will likely face feelings of emptiness and fear as he imagines the end of his social life, independence, and mobility. He will be very frustrated, and may lose self-respect.

What can you do? Help the person realize that the loss of driving does not mean the loss of freedom. Make sure he knows that he is not doomed to be penned up or cut off from the world. Get counseling for your loved one to help make the transition easier. Many state departments of motor vehicles (DMVs) offer counselors to help in these situations.

Next, your help with logistics will be very important. Thoroughly research and help your loved one understand his transportation options. If you come prepared with options for him to look forward to, his feeling of helplessness may be reduced. The transportation options include:

• Public transportation
• Friends and family
• Special bus, van, or taxi programs for the elderly and infirm

None of these alone will fill all the gaps left by not being able to drive, but together they can give the person good access to transportation. One important note: Make sure the schedules and other information you give the person are accurate, and perhaps ride along with him the first time to help iron out the kinks. Early problems in this new life—a missed bus, a late taxi—will easily frustrate the person and may make him give up other attempts to get out.

Losing the ability to drive can be scary and frustrating. It will mean a change in life patterns, but with your help, and some good information, it doesn’t have to mean the loss of a good life.

For more information

Here are some resources to help you and your relative determine if it’s time to stop driving, how to cope with the change, and what the alternative transportation options are.

• AAA Senior Driving
  http://midatlantic.aaa.com/Foundation/RoadsPrograms/SeniorDriving  
• American Association of Retired Persons. Publishes many materials on elderly drivers, including a self-assessment package. www.aarp.org
• Local senior centers. Your local senior center will know about options such as specialized van/bus services or discounts on taxis for elderly and infirm.
• Local department of motor vehicles. In many states, DMV personnel can issue graded licenses, and offer counseling to drivers who face restrictions or the loss of a license.